Audition for Sir Toby & Maria
SIR
TOBY BELCH
What
a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus? I am sure
care's an enemy to life.
MARIA
By
my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o' nights: your cousin, my lady,
takes great exceptions to your ill hours.
You
must confine yourself within the modest limits of order.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
Confine!
I'll confine myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink
in; and so be these boots too.
MARIA
That
quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and
of a foolish knight that you brought in one night here to be her wooer.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
Who,
Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
MARIA
Ay,
he.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
He's
as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
MARIA
What's
that to the purpose?
SIR
TOBY BELCH
Why,
he has three thousand ducats a year.
MARIA
Ay,
but he's a very fool and a prodigal.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
Fie,
that you'll say so! He plays o' the viol-de-gamboys, and speaks three or four
languages word for word without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature.
MARIA
He
hath indeed: for besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller:
'Tis
thought among the prudent he would quickly have the gift of a grave.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
By
this hand, they are scoundrels and subtractors that say so of him. Who are
they?
MARIA
They
that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company.
SIR
TOBY BELCH
With
drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage
in my throat and drink in Illyria.
What, wench! For here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.
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